The Cooking Class Chaos

EVANDER: Is the salt supposed to sparkle?
CHEF: Salt always sparkles, you amateur.
EVANDER: I think I put too much in.
CHEF: Too much is a disaster, Evander.
EVANDER: It looks like a snowy mountain.
CHEF: We are making soup, not landscapes.
EVANDER: Soup can be a landscape of flavor.
CHEF: Your flavor is currently pure sodium.
EVANDER: Does that mean it is tasty, Chef?
CHEF: It means it is lethal, Evander.
EVANDER: I just wanted it to pop more.
CHEF: Pop is for popcorn, not bisque.
EVANDER: Can I add some sugar to balance?
CHEF: Sugar in a fish soup? Never!
EVANDER: Sweet and salty is a trend now.
CHEF: Trends are for children, not chefs.
EVANDER: I am just following my intuition.
CHEF: Your intuition is a culinary crime.
EVANDER: What is wrong with this onion?
CHEF: You did not peel the skin, Evander.
EVANDER: I thought it added a rustic feel.
CHEF: Rustic means simple, not dirty, Evander.
EVANDER: Dirt is just earth's natural seasoning.
CHEF: Get out of my kitchen right now.
EVANDER: But we are only ten minutes in!
CHEF: Ten minutes of torture is enough.
EVANDER: I can fix the soup, I promise.
CHEF: How? By adding more sugar, Evander?
EVANDER: Maybe some cream and a lemon.
CHEF: You are making a dessert soup now.
EVANDER: Dessert soup sounds like a fancy idea.
CHEF: Fancy is not the same as edible.
EVANDER: My dog would eat this without hesitation.
CHEF: Your dog has no taste buds, Evander.
EVANDER: He loves my cooking, he really does.
CHEF: Dogs love garbage too, it's common.
EVANDER: This is not garbage, it is art!
CHEF: Art should not be a salt lick.
EVANDER: I will just rinse the soup out.
CHEF: You cannot rinse a blended liquid!
EVANDER: Why not? Just use a strainer.
CHEF: A strainer does not remove dissolved salt.
EVANDER: Science is so complicated, Chef.
CHEF: Cooking is science you can eat, Evander.
EVANDER: Then I am failing chemistry class.
CHEF: You are failing at existing here.
EVANDER: Let me try the chopping part now.
CHEF: Use the knife with extreme caution.
EVANDER: I have a very steady hand, Chef.
CHEF: Why is your finger so close to blade?
EVANDER: I am just feeling the edge's sharpness.
CHEF: Move your hand back before you bleed.
EVANDER: I can handle a little bit of danger.
CHEF: Danger is not an ingredient in recipe.
EVANDER: It adds excitement to the process, Chef.
CHEF: Excitement should come from the taste.
EVANDER: My tastes are very adventurous, honestly.
CHEF: Adventurous means you eat raw flour.
EVANDER: It is a great snack between meals.
CHEF: You are a menace to this academy.
EVANDER: I just want to learn some tricks.
CHEF: The only trick here is surviving you.
EVANDER: Can I use the blowtorch on this?
CHEF: No! Do not touch the torch, Evander!
EVANDER: But it would make it look charred.
CHEF: Charred is for steak, not for tofu.
EVANDER: Tofu needs a bit of fire, Chef.
CHEF: Tofu needs to be left alone, Evander.
EVANDER: I think I smell something burning now.
CHEF: That is your pan, you idiot!
EVANDER: It has a very smoky aroma, right?
CHEF: It is an alarm trigger, Evander!
EVANDER: The alarm is just a loud dinner bell.
CHEF: Stop talking and get the extinguisher!
EVANDER: I cannot find it in this mess.
CHEF: It is right behind you, you blind!
EVANDER: Found it! Do I just spray everything?
CHEF: Just the fire! Not the other students!
EVANDER: Oops, I hit the cake by mistake.
CHEF: You just murdered a chocolate gateau!
EVANDER: Now it is a snowy chocolate cake.
CHEF: Get out! Leave my sight immediately!
EVANDER: Can I take the pan with me?
CHEF: Take everything and never come back!
EVANDER: I think I found my true calling, Chef.
CHEF: Which is what? Professional arsonist?
EVANDER: No, a food critic for bad cafes.
CHEF: You would be a natural at that.
EVANDER: Thanks for the lesson, Chef! Goodbye!
CHEF: Someone please call the cleaning crew.
EVANDER: I can help clean with my tape!
CHEF: NO TAPE IN THE KITCHEN! EVER!