Crisp and Cursed

OSCAR: Hestia, why is the air fryer humming?
HESTIA: It's just preheating, Oscar.
OSCAR: It sounds like it's chanting in Latin.
HESTIA: Air fryers don't chant.
OSCAR: This one does! Listen!
HESTIA: I don't hear anything but the fan.
OSCAR: It's definitely saying "mortis" something.
HESTIA: You've been watching too many horror movies.
OSCAR: Then why is there a ghost-shaped french fry?
HESTIA: That's just a weirdly shaped potato.
OSCAR: It just winked at me!
HESTIA: Potatoes don't have eyes that wink.
OSCAR: This one does!
HESTIA: Give me the basket.
OSCAR: Don't touch it! It's haunted!
HESTIA: It's a kitchen appliance, not a poltergeist.
OSCAR: Then why is it floating?
HESTIA: What do you mean floating?
OSCAR: Look! It's two inches off the counter!
HESTIA: It's probably just... vibration.
OSCAR: Vibration doesn't make things hover, Hestia!
HESTIA: Maybe the counter is slanted.
OSCAR: The whole appliance is in the air!
HESTIA: Okay, that is a bit strange.
OSCAR: See? I told you it was cursed!
HESTIA: Where did we even buy this thing?
OSCAR: It was a "Mystery Box" from an estate sale.
HESTIA: You bought a mystery air fryer?
OSCAR: It had great reviews on the dark web!
HESTIA: Why are you shopping on the dark web?
OSCAR: I wanted a discount on convection heating.
HESTIA: You bought a cursed appliance for a discount.
OSCAR: It was seventy percent off!
HESTIA: Now we have a ghost in the kitchen.
OSCAR: He's not a ghost, he's a chef!
HESTIA: Why do you call him a chef?
OSCAR: He just made me an invisible grilled cheese.
HESTIA: You can't eat an invisible sandwich.
OSCAR: I can taste the cheddar, Hestia!
HESTIA: You're just imagining it.
OSCAR: No, look at my mouth!
HESTIA: Your mouth is empty.
OSCAR: Exactly! The cheese is invisible!
HESTIA: This is getting ridiculous.
OSCAR: The air fryer is glowing purple now.
HESTIA: It's probably just a LED failure.
OSCAR: LEDs don't pulse in time with my heartbeat.
HESTIA: I'm unplugging it.
OSCAR: Don't! You'll anger the spirit!
HESTIA: Spirits can't be angered by a power outlet.
OSCAR: That's what people say before they get cursed.
HESTIA: I am not getting cursed by a fryer.
OSCAR: Look out! It's launching tater tots!
HESTIA: Why are there tater tots?
OSCAR: We didn't put any in there!
HESTIA: Where are they coming from?
OSCAR: The void! The potato void!
HESTIA: Stop yelling "void" every five seconds.
OSCAR: It's a very active void today!
HESTIA: I'm calling the manufacturer.
OSCAR: They won't answer.
HESTIA: Why not?
OSCAR: Because they're all dead, probably.
HESTIA: You are so dramatic.
OSCAR: The air fryer just wrote "LEAVE" in crumbs!
HESTIA: Let me see...
OSCAR: See? It says "LEAVE"!
HESTIA: It looks more like the word "LOAF".
OSCAR: Maybe it wants a loaf of bread?
HESTIA: See? It's just a glitchy machine.
OSCAR: A glitchy machine that knows I want bread!
HESTIA: You always want bread, Oscar.
OSCAR: The air fryer is reading my mind!
HESTIA: It's not reading your mind, it's guessing.
OSCAR: It guessed correctly!
HESTIA: That's just probability.
OSCAR: Now it's making a sound like a scream.
HESTIA: That's just the timer going off.
OSCAR: A ghostly timer!
HESTIA: I'm throwing this thing in the trash.
OSCAR: No! The invisible grilled cheese is almost done!
HESTIA: There is no sandwich!
OSCAR: I can feel the warmth on my tongue!
HESTIA: You're just licking the air.
OSCAR: It's a spiritual feast!
HESTIA: You are a weird man, Oscar.
OSCAR: But I have an invisible chef!
HESTIA: He's not a chef, he's a malfunction.
OSCAR: Look, it's floating higher!
HESTIA: Okay, now I'm actually concerned.
OSCAR: Maybe we should offer it a sacrifice?
HESTIA: A sacrifice of what?
OSCAR: Some frozen mozzarella sticks?
HESTIA: We are not feeding the appliance.
OSCAR: It's the only way to appease it!
HESTIA: I am unplugging it now.
OSCAR: NOOOO!
HESTIA: There. Silence.
OSCAR: You killed him!
HESTIA: I killed a toaster with a fan.
OSCAR: He was a visionary!
HESTIA: Go to bed, Oscar.
OSCAR: I can still taste the cheddar...
HESTIA: Please stop talking about the cheese.
OSCAR: The void is hungry, Hestia.
HESTIA: Shut up.