The Bad Magician

FELIX: Watch this, kids!
KID: Is it real magic?
FELIX: The realest you'll see.
KID: Why is your hat torn?
FELIX: It adds to character.
KID: Do the rabbit trick.
FELIX: Coming right up, folks.
KID: He is not moving.
FELIX: He is just sleeping.
KID: Rabbits do not sleep.
FELIX: This one is tired.
KID: Pull him out now!
FELIX: Abracadabra, presto changeo!
KID: Nothing happened yet, Felix.
FELIX: Give it a second.
KID: I see his ear.
FELIX: That is part of it.
KID: He looks very grumpy.
FELIX: He hates the hat.
KID: Why is he grumpy?
FELIX: Too many birthday parties.
KID: Just pull him out!
FELIX: Here he comes now!
KID: You just grabbed him.
FELIX: It was a fast move.
KID: I saw your hand.
FELIX: Your eyes are too fast.
KID: Magic should be secret.
FELIX: I am still learning, kid.
KID: My dad is better.
FELIX: Your dad is not magic.
KID: He finds my toys.
FELIX: That is just cleaning, son.
KID: Do the card trick.
FELIX: Pick a card, any card.
KID: This one is red.
FELIX: Keep it secret, please.
KID: I am holding it.
FELIX: Now I will guess.
KID: Just tell me now.
FELIX: Is it the Ace?
KID: No, it is not.
FELIX: The King of Hearts?
KID: Wrong again, Mr. Magic.
FELIX: It must be Queen.
KID: No, it is Seven.
FELIX: Seven is a boring card.
KID: I like the seven.
FELIX: Let me try again.
KID: You already failed thrice.
FELIX: Luck was not there.
KID: Magic does not use luck.
FELIX: It uses very special luck.
KID: That is a lie.
FELIX: It is a mystery, kid.
KID: My dog can do this.
FELIX: Dogs cannot hold cards.
KID: He can find them.
FELIX: He just smells the ink.
KID: Make a coin disappear.
FELIX: Watch my empty hand.
KID: I see the coin.
FELIX: You are seeing a ghost.
KID: It is in your palm.
FELIX: It is an optical illusion.
KID: My eyes work fine.
FELIX: Maybe the light is bad.
KID: The lights are bright.
FELIX: I need more smoke.
KID: We have no smoke.
FELIX: Then use your imagination.
KID: Imagination does not work.
FELIX: It works for some people.
KID: Not for you, Felix.
FELIX: You are a tough crowd.
KID: We want real magic.
FELIX: I have one more trick.
KID: Is it the rabbit?
FELIX: No, it is better.
KID: What is it then?
FELIX: I will vanish now!
KID: You just walked away.
FELIX: See? I am gone!
KID: We can still see you.
FELIX: Close your eyes, kids.
KID: Now we are blind.
FELIX: Now I am really gone.
KID: He is still there.
FELIX: Stop looking at me!
KID: You are a bad magician.
FELIX: I am an entertainer, kid.
KID: Entertain us with truth.
FELIX: The truth is boring.
KID: Your magic is boring.
FELIX: I am taking a break.
KID: Can we keep rabbit?
FELIX: No, he has duties.
KID: What duties does he have?
FELIX: He manages my schedule.
KID: Rabbits cannot use phones.
FELIX: This one is special.
KID: Give us the cake.
FELIX: I am not the baker.
KID: You are a failure, Felix.
FELIX: Thanks for coming, kids!