Barking Bakery

ISADORA: Why is there a line of people on our driveway?
LUCIUS: I think they're here for the treats!
ISADORA: What treats?
LUCIUS: The "Buster-Bites" I made this morning!
ISADORA: You made dog biscuits?
LUCIUS: Not just biscuits. Gourmet, organic, gluten-free canine cookies.
ISADORA: Since when do you bake for the dog?
LUCIUS: I wanted to improve his digestive flora.
ISADORA: Why are humans standing in line for dog food?
LUCIUS: They're not for humans, but they want them for their dogs!
ISADORA: You posted this on Facebook, didn't you?
LUCIUS: Just a small photo of the plating!
ISADORA: "Small"? You used the "Public" setting and tagged it #GourmetDog.
LUCIUS: I wanted to reach a wider community of pet lovers.
ISADORA: You reached five hundred people in our zip code, Lucius.
LUCIUS: And they all want a dozen!
ISADORA: The kitchen is covered in flour. It looks like a snowstorm.
LUCIUS: That's the price of artisanal production.
ISADORA: I can't even see the counter!
LUCIUS: We don't need counters, we need more mixing bowls!
ISADORA: You are not opening a bakery in our kitchen.
LUCIUS: It's not a bakery; it's a "Boutique Treat Studio".
ISADORA: A studio that smells like fish and peanut butter.
LUCIUS: That's the scent of success, Isadora!
ISADORA: It's the scent of a very confused house.
LUCIUS: Look at this customer! She wants fifty treats for her Pomeranian.
ISADORA: Fifty? Who needs fifty dog cookies?
LUCIUS: A very spoiled Pomeranian, apparently.
ISADORA: You're charging ten dollars a dozen?
LUCIUS: High quality requires a high price point.
ISADORA: Since when are you a businessman?
LUCIUS: I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit!
ISADORA: Your "entrepreneurial spirit" usually lasts two days.
LUCIUS: This is different! The demand is organic!
ISADORA: The treats are organic, the demand is just weird.
LUCIUS: People love their dogs more than they love themselves.
ISADORA: I love my house not being covered in flour.
LUCIUS: Just help me with the packaging!
ISADORA: Packaging? You have packaging?
LUCIUS: I used some old ribbon and brown paper bags.
ISADORA: You're selling dog food in gift wrap?
LUCIUS: It adds to the "Boutique" feel.
ISADORA: This is going to end in a disaster.
LUCIUS: No, it's going to end in a franchise!
ISADORA: Don't you dare use the word "franchise" in this house.
LUCIUS: Imagine: "Buster-Bites" in every major city!
ISADORA: I can already see the health inspector's face.
LUCIUS: We don't need an inspector; we have a happy dog!
ISADORA: Buster is currently eating a piece of cardboard.
LUCIUS: He's just sampling the packaging for quality control.
ISADORA: He's not a consultant, Lucius!
LUCIUS: Every great business needs a mascot.
ISADORA: Our mascot is a dog who eats trash.
LUCIUS: That makes him "relatable" to the average pet owner.
ISADORA: I can't believe this is happening.
LUCIUS: Just taste one! They're actually delicious.
ISADORA: You want me to eat a dog biscuit?
LUCIUS: It's all-natural ingredients!
ISADORA: I don't care if it's made of gold; it's for dogs.
LUCIUS: Just a nibble!
ISADORA: *Tastes one* ...Wait, why is this actually good?
LUCIUS: See! I told you my palate was superior!
ISADORA: It tastes like a high-end almond cookie.
LUCIUS: Exactly! The secret is the hint of cinnamon.
ISADORA: Now I feel dirty for liking it.
LUCIUS: Welcome to the dark side, Isadora. We have biscuits.
ISADORA: This doesn't change the fact that the kitchen is a mess.
LUCIUS: I'll clean it up... eventually.
ISADORA: "Eventually" means after you make another thousand cookies.
LUCIUS: You know me so well!
ISADORA: Stop smiling and start scrubbing.
LUCIUS: But the customers are waiting!
ISADORA: Tell them the studio is closed for maintenance.
LUCIUS: I can't do that! My brand reputation is at stake!
ISADORA: Your "brand" is a guy in an apron with flour on his nose.
LUCIUS: A very professional apron!
ISADORA: It has a picture of a taco on it.
LUCIUS: Tacos inspire me to bake!
ISADORA: I'm taking the oven keys.
LUCIUS: You can't take the oven keys! There are no keys!
ISADORA: I'll just stand in front of it.
LUCIUS: That's a very inefficient way to manage production.
ISADORA: It's my "Sovereign Blockade" strategy.
LUCIUS: Please, Isadora! Just one more batch!
ISADORA: No. The humans are leaving.
LUCIUS: But the Pomeranian is still here!
ISADORA: Tell her to go home!
LUCIUS: She's too cute to turn away.
ISADORA: I don't care if she's a supermodel dog, get her out!
LUCIUS: Fine, but we're keeping the profits.
ISADORA: How much did you actually make?
LUCIUS: About forty-two dollars.
ISADORA: Forty-two dollars for all this chaos?
LUCIUS: And three free samples of organic kale!
ISADORA: You traded your hard work for kale?
LUCIUS: It's very high-quality kale, Isadora.
ISADORA: I hate you so much.
LUCIUS: Love you too, honey! Now help me find the cinnamon.
ISADORA: GET OUT!