The Cooking Catastrophe

AMY: Is the turkey supposed to smoke?
BEN: It is just searing, Amy.
AMY: Searing does not look black.
BEN: It is a dark crust.
AMY: It looks like charcoal, Ben.
BEN: Charcoal is very trendy now.
AMY: Not for dinner guests, honey.
BEN: Our boss likes bold flavors.
AMY: Burnt is not a flavor.
BEN: It is an intense flavor.
AMY: We are going to be fired.
BEN: Do not be so dramatic.
AMY: The kitchen is on fire!
BEN: Just use the wet towel.
AMY: Where is the wet towel?
BEN: I used it for sauce.
AMY: Why is the towel saucy?
BEN: I was cleaning as I go.
AMY: You are making a mess.
BEN: I am creating a masterpiece.
AMY: A masterpiece of failure, maybe.
BEN: Stop doubting my culinary skills.
LISA: Your skills are non-existent.
BEN: Wait, is that the boss?
AMY: He is early! Oh no!
BEN: Hide the turkey quickly, Amy!
AMY: Where do I hide it?
BEN: Put it in the oven!
AMY: It came from the oven!
BEN: Then put it in trash.
AMY: The trash will smell bad.
BEN: Better than a burnt bird.
AMY: He is at the door!
BEN: Smile and act very natural.
AMY: I cannot smile, I am shaking.
BEN: Just breathe and look happy.
LISA: Hello! I am here early.
AMY: Welcome! Please come inside now.
BEN: We are just finishing up.
LISA: What is that smell, Ben?
BEN: It is a special incense.
AMY: Yes, very exotic wood scent.
LISA: It smells like old tires.
BEN: Tires from the rainforest, maybe.
AMY: Let us go to lounge.
LISA: Why are you wearing aprons?
BEN: We are practicing for hobby.
AMY: A hobby of cleaning floors.
LISA: Your floor is very white.
BEN: It is mostly flour, actually.
AMY: Ben! Stop telling him that!
BEN: I am being honest, Amy.
LISA: Why is there flour here?
AMY: We were making homemade bread.
LISA: Bread for a turkey dinner?
BEN: Yes, very artisanal sourdough bread.
LISA: I love sourdough, it's great.
AMY: Great! Let us see it.
BEN: It is still in oven.
LISA: Can I see the turkey?
AMY: The turkey is resting now.
LISA: Resting for how long, Amy?
BEN: It needs a very long nap.
LISA: Turkeys do not take naps.
AMY: This one was very tired.
LISA: That is a weird thing.
BEN: He was an old bird.
LISA: I can hear something sizzling.
AMY: That is just the candles.
LISA: Candles do not sizzle, Amy.
BEN: These are special soy candles.
LISA: Why is there smoke here?
AMY: The ventilation is very poor.
LISA: It smells like a fire.
BEN: Fire adds a smoky taste.
LISA: To the air or food?
AMY: To both, in a way.
LISA: Are you two okay today?
BEN: We are fantastic, just excited.
AMY: Extremely excited for your visit.
LISA: You look like you cried.
AMY: I have an allergy to turkey.
LISA: But you are cooking it.
BEN: She is the supervisor here.
LISA: This is a very odd house.
AMY: We enjoy being different, sir.
BEN: Very different and very loud.
LISA: I think I will leave.
AMY: Already? We have dessert soon!
LISA: I am not hungry anymore.
BEN: But we have chocolate cake!
LISA: Is the cake burnt too?
AMY: No, it is store bought.
LISA: That is the first honest thing.
BEN: See? We are very honest people.
LISA: Goodbye, you two weirdos.
AMY: He actually liked us, Ben.
BEN: I think he was terrified.
AMY: Next time, just order pizza.
BEN: Pizza is too simple, Amy.
AMY: Simple is safe, my love.
BEN: Safe is boring for dinner.
AMY: I prefer boring over fired.
BEN: Fair point, let us eat.
AMY: Eat the charcoal? No way.