Monopoly Mayhem

LYRA: I'll buy Boardwalk.
ALARIC: You can't! I have the mortgage on it!
LYRA: Then sell it to me for ten dollars.
ALARIC: Ten dollars? It's the most expensive property in the game!
LYRA: That's why you're desperate, Alaric.
ALARIC: I am not desperate! I am strategically liquidating.
LYRA: You have three dollars and a hotel on Mediterranean Avenue.
ALARIC: It's a growth investment!
LYRA: It's a slum, Alaric. A digital slum.
ALARIC: Just roll the dice.
LYRA: *Rolls* Seven. I land on your utility.
ALARIC: That'll be two hundred dollars.
LYRA: I'm not paying.
ALARIC: What do you mean "not paying"? It's the rules!
LYRA: I've decided to annex this territory.
ALARIC: You can't annex a water works!
LYRA: In my new version of Monopoly, I can.
ALARIC: That is not how the game works!
LYRA: The rules are merely suggestions for the weak.
ALARIC: You're just trying to avoid paying me!
LYRA: I am redefining the geopolitical landscape of the board.
ALARIC: It's a board game about real estate, not a world war!
LYRA: Everything is a war when you're playing against me.
ALARIC: Why are you like this?
LYRA: Because winning is its own reward.
ALARIC: You've already won! You own half the map!
LYRA: I want the other half. And your soul.
ALARIC: My soul isn't a tradable asset in Monopoly.
LYRA: Not yet it isn't. Give me the dice.
ALARIC: No! It's my turn to roll.
LYRA: I'm the landlord of this table now.
ALARIC: You are not the landlord of the table!
LYRA: I've just bought the table from the bank.
ALARIC: The bank doesn't sell tables!
LYRA: I found a loophole in the manual.
ALARIC: There is no "table purchase" loophole!
LYRA: Page 12, subsection B: "Miscellaneous assets".
ALARIC: That refers to properties, not furniture!
LYRA: Details, Alaric. Boring, tedious details.
ALARIC: I'm calling a timeout.
LYRA: Timeouts are for people who are losing.
ALARIC: I am not losing, I'm... regrouping.
LYRA: Regrouping your three dollars?
ALARIC: It's enough for a small loan!
LYRA: I don't lend to bankruptcies.
ALARIC: I'm not bankrupt yet!
LYRA: You're one roll away from the poorhouse.
ALARIC: Just let me roll the dice.
LYRA: Only if you acknowledge my sovereignty over the Water Works.
ALARIC: Fine! You own the water! Just let me roll!
LYRA: I also want a written apology for your tone.
ALARIC: This is insane! It's just a game!
LYRA: "Just a game" is what losers say before they lose everything.
ALARIC: ILOVE YOU, but you are a monster.
LYRA: A monster with all the railroads.
ALARIC: Why do you need all four railroads?
LYRA: To control the flow of commerce, obviously.
ALARIC: You're playing this like a corporate takeover.
LYRA: That's because it is a corporate takeover.
ALARIC: I just wanted to spend a nice evening together.
LYRA: We are spending it together! In high tension!
ALARIC: This isn't "nice"!
LYRA: It's exhilarating! Feel the adrenaline, Alaric!
ALARIC: I feel my blood pressure rising.
LYRA: That's just the thrill of the gamble.
ALARIC: I'm not gambling, I'm losing my life savings in a cardboard world.
LYRA: Now, roll the dice.
ALARIC: *Rolls* Six. I land on your hotel.
LYRA: That'll be fifteen hundred dollars.
ALARIC: I don't have fifteen hundred dollars!
LYRA: Then you must sell me your soul.
ALARIC: Stop asking for my soul!
LYRA: Fine. Give me the dog.
ALARIC: The dog is not part of the game!
LYRA: Everything in this room is now an asset.
ALARIC: I'm quitting. I'm officially quitting.
LYRA: Quitting is a breach of contract.
ALARIC: What contract?
LYRA: The one you signed when you sat down.
ALARIC: I didn't sign anything!
LYRA: A verbal agreement is binding in the Empire of Lyra.
ALARIC: I hate this game.
LYRA: I love it. Your despair is a wonderful seasoning.
ALARIC: You are truly terrifying.
LYRA: Thank you, dear. Now, pay up.
ALARIC: With what? My dignity?
LYRA: That's not legal tender here.
ALARIC: I give up! You win! Just stop!
LYRA: I already knew I won.
ALARIC: Then why did we play for three hours?
LYRA: For the psychological torture, obviously.
ALARIC: You're a demon.
LYRA: A demon with a hotel on Boardwalk.
ALARIC: I'm going to bed.
LYRA: Wait! We haven't played Life yet!
ALARIC: NO!
LYRA: Come on, Alaric! It'll be fun!
ALARIC: I can't do this again.
LYRA: I'll let you have the first spin!
ALARIC: I don't trust your spins.
LYRA: Just one game!
ALARIC: NEVER!
LYRA: Fine. More properties for me.
ALARIC: Goodnight, monster.
LYRA: Sweet dreams of debt, Alaric!