The Bad Roommate's Music

KAELEN: It is three in the morning, Lucius!
LUCIUS: The muse does not follow a clock, Kaelen.
KAELEN: The muse should respect the concept of sleep!
LUCIUS: Sleep is just a pause in the symphony of life.
KAELEN: Your symphony sounds like a dying elephant!
LUCIUS: That is the sound of primal emotion, Kaelen.
KAELEN: Primal emotion is not needed at 3 AM, sir.
LUCIUS: The night is when the most honest music happens.
KAELEN: Honest music does not wake up the whole block.
LUCIUS: Our neighbors are lucky to hear my genius, Kaelen.
KAELEN: They are probably calling the police right now.
LUCIUS: Police officers love a good avant-garde piece.
KAELEN: They love arrests and noise complaints more.
LUCIUS: You are too focused on the law of society, Kaelen.
KAELEN: I am focused on the law of not being tired!
LUCIUS: Tiredness is just your soul asking for more art.
KAELEN: My soul is asking you to put that pipe away.
LUCIUS: This instrument is a bridge to another dimension.
KAELEN: The only dimension it reaches is my bedroom wall.
LUCIUS: That is because the sound waves are very powerful.
KAELEN: They are not powerful; they are just loud, Lucius.
LUCIUS: Loudness is the same as intensity in art, Kaelen.
KAELEN: Intensity should not involve PVC pipes and tape.
LUCIUS: Tape holds the music together, my friend.
KAELEN: It holds a noise-machine together, you idiot.
LUCIUS: I call it the "Cosmic Wind-Harp of Sorrow".
KAELEN: It sounds more like the "Screaming Tube of Pain".
LUCIUS: Pain is a necessary part of the creative process.
KAELEN: The only pain here is in my eardrums, Lucius.
LUCIUS: Your eardrums are just resisting the frequency.
KAELEN: I am resisting the urge to throw it out window.
LUCIUS: That would be a tragedy for the music world!
KAELEN: The music world is not in this apartment, sir.
LUCIUS: We are creating a new world here, Kaelen.
KAELEN: A world where no one can ever sleep again?
LUCIUS: Sleep is just a waste of potential creative hours.
KAELEN: I need those hours to function at my job!
LUCIUS: Your job is just a rhythmic repetition of tasks.
KAELEN: Exactly! It is not an avant-garde symphony!
LUCIUS: You should bring your work into the music, Kaelen.
KAELEN: I do not want my spreadsheets to have a soundtrack.
LUCIUS: "The Ballad of Column B" would be a hit, truly.
KAELEN: Please stop naming things and start being quiet.
LUCIUS: Quiet is just a gap between two loud notes.
KAELEN: I want a very long gap that lasts until noon.
LUCIUS: That would be a very boring composition, Kaelen.
KAELEN: Boring is exactly what I want in my bedroom.
LUCIUS: You have no passion for the sonic arts, sir.
KAELEN: I have a passion for silence and dark rooms.
LUCIUS: Silence is just the sound of an empty soul.
KAELEN: My soul is full; it's just tired of your pipes.
LUCIUS: Maybe you should play an instrument too, Kaelen.
KAELEN: I would rather eat my own shoes than play this.
LUCIUS: I have some spare PVC pipes in the closet!
KAELEN: DO NOT GIVE ME PIPES, Lucius! NEVER!
LUCIUS: Imagine us as a duo; the "Pipes of Destiny"!
KAELEN: The only destiny here is me moving out soon.
LUCIUS: Moving is just a change in your spatial frequency.
KAELEN: My frequency is currently set to "extremely annoyed".
LUCIUS: That frequency has a very sharp, piercing tone.
KAELEN: Yes, because I am screaming at you right now!
LUCIUS: Your scream is actually a perfect C-sharp, Kaelen.
KAELEN: Stop analyzing my screams and go to bed!
LUCIUS: Bed is for those who have finished their opus.
KAELEN: Your opus is a noise violation, you lunatic.
LUCIUS: Law is just a suggestion for the uninspired.
KAELEN: I am inspired to call the landlord right now.
LUCIUS: Landlords are just guardians of the brick box.
KAELEN: This brick box is currently shaking from your music.
LUCIUS: That is the resonance of the earth, my friend.
KAELEN: It is the resonance of my anger, Lucius!
LUCIUS: Anger is a great fuel for a crescendo, Kaelen.
KAELEN: I am at the crescendo of my patience, sir.
LUCIUS: Then let it explode into a beautiful melody!
KAELEN: My explosion will be you leaving this room.
LUCIUS: I cannot leave; the muse is still talking to me.
KAELEN: The muse is probably telling you to shut up.
LUCIUS: She says your negativity is blocking the flow.
KAELEN: I am not blocking it; I am trying to kill it!
LUCIUS: You cannot kill art; it only changes form.
KAELEN: Then change it into a form that is silent, please.
LUCIUS: Silence is just the most difficult piece to play.
KAELEN: Then you are finally facing a real challenge, sir.
LUCIUS: I accept this challenge! I will be silent for hour.
KAELEN: One hour? I want a lifetime of silence, Lucius.
LUCIUS: A lifetime is too long; I would miss the wind.
KAELEN: The wind does not need PVC pipes to exist, man.
LUCIUS: But it sounds better through a plastic tube, Kaelen.
KAELEN: I am going to put a pillow over my head now.
LUCIUS: Pillows are just mufflers for the cosmic truth.
KAELEN: Good! Muffle the truth and go to sleep, please.
LUCIUS: Fine, but tomorrow we try the la own-horns!
KAELEN: I AM GOING TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW NOW!
LUCIUS: That is a great way to practice your vocals, Kaelen!