The Bad First Job

MORDECAI: Where do the fries go, sir?
BOSS: In the oil, Mordecai! The oil!
MORDECAI: Which oil? There are three pots.
BOSS: The one that is actually hot, Mordecai.
MORDECAI: Is the bubbling one considered hot, sir?
BOSS: Yes! That is why it is bubbling!
MORDECAI: I thought it was just excited to cook.
BOSS: Oil does not get excited, you idiot.
MORDECAI: Sorry! I am just a bit nervous now.
BOSS: Stop being nervous and start frying.
MORDECAI: Do I put the salt on before?
BOSS: No! Salt goes on after they are done.
MORDECAI: What if I want pre-salted fries, sir?
BOSS: We do not offer pre-salted fries here.
MORDECAI: That seems like a missed opportunity, Boss.
BOSS: Just follow the manual and be quiet.
MORDECAI: The manual is written in very small print.
BOSS: Use your eyes and focus on work.
MORDECAI: I think I dropped my hat in sauce.
BOSS: Why was your hat near the sauce?
MORDECAI: I was trying to flavor it with fabric.
BOSS: Get a new hat and stay away!
MORDECAI: Who is this customer at window two?
BOSS: That is a hungry person, Mordecai.
MORDECAI: He looks very angry at me, sir.
BOSS: Maybe because you took ten minutes.
MORDECAI: I was making sure the bag was square.
BOSS: Bags do not need to be perfect squares!
MORDECAI: Geometry is important for food stability, Boss.
BOSS: Just give him the burger and move on.
MORDECAI: Which burger? The one with cheese?
BOSS: Yes, the cheeseburger! That is the order!
MORDECAI: I accidentally gave him a plain bun.
BOSS: Why would you give him just bread?
MORDECAI: He said he wanted something light, sir.
BOSS: He ordered a double patty with bacon!
MORDECAI: Bacon is very heavy for this time.
BOSS: It is lunch time! People want bacon!
MORDECAI: I think I put the shake in oven.
BOSS: YOU DID WHAT? WHY IN OVEN?
MORDECAI: I wanted to see if it melts.
BOSS: Shakes are already melted ice cream, Mordecai!
MORDECAI: Oh, so it is already done then?
BOSS: Get out of the kitchen right now!
MORDECAI: But I still have to mop floors.
BOSS: Do not mop the floor with syrup!
MORDECAI: Why would I use syrup for mopping?
BOSS: Because you tried to salt the fries!
MORDECAI: Syrup is a great adhesive for dust, sir.
BOSS: We want the floors clean, not sticky.
MORDECAI: Sticky floors keep the customers in place.
BOSS: That is called being trapped, you weirdo.
MORDECAI: I thought it was a customer retention strategy.
BOSS: Your strategy is getting us all fired.
MORDECAI: I am just trying to innovate, Boss.
BOSS: Innovation requires a brain that works.
MORDECAI: My brain is currently on break, sir.
BOSS: You have been here for one hour!
MORDECAI: One hour of hard work is exhausting.
BOSS: You spent forty minutes staring at ice.
MORDECAI: I was analyzing the crystal structures, Boss.
BOSS: This is a burger joint, not a lab!
MORDECAI: Burgers are just meat-based chemistry, sir.
BOSS: Please stop talking and clean the grill.
MORDECAI: Can I use the soap from bathroom?
BOSS: NO! Use the degreaser in the bucket!
MORDECAI: The bucket is full of old napkins.
BOSS: Then empty the bucket first, Mordecai!
MORDECAI: I tried, but they are stuck together.
BOSS: How do you get napkins stuck together?
MORDECAI: I might have spilled some honey on them.
BOSS: Why was there honey in the kitchen?
MORDECAI: I wanted to make a honey-glaze floor.
BOSS: YOU ARE A MENACE TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT!
MORDECAI: I just want to be a star employee.
BOSS: Stars usually explode and disappear, Mordecai.
MORDECAI: That sounds like a very exciting career.
BOSS: Just go stand in the corner, please.
MORDECAI: Can I have a snack while waiting?
BOSS: You can eat the mistakes you made.
MORDECAI: The soap-flavored fries? No thanks, Boss.
BOSS: Then get back to work, you disaster!
MORDECAI: I think I see a spider on grill.
BOSS: Do not talk to the spider, Mordecai.
MORDECAI: He seems like a very nice guy, sir.
BOSS: SPIDERS DO NOT WORK HERE! GET BACK!
MORDECAI: He says he can flip burgers faster.
BOSS: I AM GOING TO QUIT THIS JOB!
MORDECAI: Does that mean I am now the manager?
BOSS: IN YOUR DREAMS, Mordecai! IN YOUR DREAMS!
MORDECAI: I will start by changing the menu.
BOSS: GET OUT! JUST GET OUT NOW!