The Bad Roommate's Art Project

PHINEAS: Why is the sofa neon pink, Orion?
ORION: It was too beige; it lacked a soul, Phineas.
PHINEAS: Beige is a neutral color! It's supposed to be neutral!
ORION: Neutral is just another word for boring and dead.
PHINEAS: I like boring! Boring doesn't glow in the dark!
ORION: Now you can find your sofa even when lights off.
PHINEAS: Why would I need a glowing sofa in the dark?
ORION: To guide you to your resting place, my friend.
PHINEAS: My resting place is now an eyesore, you idiot.
ORION: Eyesores are just art that people aren't ready for.
PHINEAS: I am ready for my furniture not to be pink, Orion.
ORION: You are just resisting the revolution of color!
PHINEAS: The only revolution here is my blood pressure rising.
ORION: Your blood pressure is just a red vibration, Phineas.
PHINEAS: Why are there blue splatters on the ceiling?
ORION: I was capturing the essence of a rainstorm, Phineas.
PHINEAS: You were throwing paint at the ceiling, Orion.
ORION: Throwing is the most honest form of application.
PHINEAS: It is the most lazy way to make a mess, sir.
ORION: Messes are just unplanned masterpieces of chaos.
PHINEAS: Chaos does not belong in my living room, man.
ORION: Your living room was a desert of creativity, Phineas.
PHINEAS: I like my desert! It was clean and quiet!
ORION: Now it is a jungle of expression and light!
PHINEAS: It looks like a unicorn exploded in here, Orion.
ORION: Unicorns are the ultimate symbol of magic, Phineas.
PHINEAS: Magic does not include painting my TV silver.
ORION: Silver reflects the truth of the viewer, Phineas.
PHINEAS: The truth is that I can't see the screen anymore!
ORION: You don't need a screen; you need to imagine.
PHINEAS: Imagination doesn't show me the football game, sir.
ORION: Football is just a game of grass and leather.
PHINEAS: It's a game I enjoy watching on my silver TV!
ORION: Now you can watch the reflection of your soul.
PHINEAS: My soul is currently screaming at you, Orion.
ORION: Screaming is a very powerful form of auditory art.
PHINEAS: Stop making everything "art" and start cleaning!
ORION: Cleaning would be erasing the history of this piece.
PHINEAS: The history of this piece is ten minutes of madness.
ORION: Madness is the only way to reach true genius, Phineas.
PHINEAS: Genius does not involve painting a toaster pink.
ORION: The toaster now has a personality and a voice.
PHINEAS: Toasters do not have personalities; they heat bread!
ORION: This one heats bread with an artistic flair, truly.
PHINEAS: It's still just burnt toast, you absolute moron.
ORION: Burnt is just a deep shade of roasted brown.
PHINEAS: I am going to paint you neon green, Orion.
ORION: That would be a wonderful addition to the piece!
PHINEAS: I am not kidding; I will do it right now.
ORION: Your anger is becoming a creative force, Phineas.
PHINEAS: My creative force is focused on your eviction.
ORION: Eviction is just a change of gallery for me.
PHINEAS: The gallery you are moving to is the street.
ORION: The street is the ultimate canvas for all artists.
PHINEAS: Why is there a pile of salt in the hallway?
ORION: It represents the tears of a lonely cloud, Phineas.
PHINEAS: It represents a trip hazard for anyone walking!
ORION: Trip hazards make us more aware of our feet.
PHINEAS: I am very aware that I almost fell over, sir.
ORION: Awareness is the first step toward enlightenment, Phineas.
PHINEAS: Enlightenment should not involve salt on floor.
ORION: Salt is a purifier for the energy of space.
PHINEAS: My la space is now just salty and weird, Orion.
ORION: Weirdness is a luxury that many cannot afford.
PHINEAS: I can afford it, but I choose not to, man.
ORION: You are just a prisoner of your own expectations.
PHINEAS: My expectation was to have a normal apartment!
ORION: Normal is a myth created by boring people, Phineas.
PHINEAS: I am a boring person and I love it, sir.
ORION: Then you are a master of the art of boredom.
PHINEAS: I am a master of wanting my sofa back to beige.
ORION: Beige is a color that has given up on life.
PHINEAS: My sofa did not give up; you murdered it!
ORION: I gave it a new life as a neon beacon, Phineas.
PHINEAS: A beacon that warns people to stay away from here.
ORION: Exactly! It protects the art from the uninitiated.
PHINEAS: I am initiated into the art of hating this room.
ORION: Hate is just love with a very loud voice, Phineas.
PHINEAS: My love for you is currently at zero, Orion.
ORION: Zero is the most powerful number in mathematics.
PHINEAS: Zero is how many minutes you have left here.
ORION: You cannot kick out a visionary from his studio!
PHINEAS: This is not your studio; it's my lease agreement.
ORION: Agreements are just pieces of paper with ink.
PHINEAS: Those pieces of paper allow me to call police.
ORION: Police officers love bold colors and neon pink!
PHINEAS: They love people who don't vandalize their homes.
ORION: Vandalism is just an unplanned public installation.
PHINEAS: Your installation is a disaster and a mess, sir.
ORION: Disasters are the most exciting things to witness.
PHINEAS: I have witnessed enough; I am calling the landlord.
ORION: Tell him the apartment has been upgraded to "Art".
PHINEAS: He will upgrade you to "Out of the house", Orion.
ORION: That is just a transition to a new creative space.
PHINEAS: I hope your new space is far away from me.
ORION: Distance is just a number on a map, Phineas.
PHINEAS: This number is exactly what I need right now.
ORION: Your anger is such a beautiful shade of red!
PHINEAS: STOP TALKING ABOUT COLORS AND LEAVE NOW!
ORION: See? The passion has finally arrived, Phineas!