The Gym Struggle

DAMIAN: Which way is forward?
JEN: You are facing backwards.
DAMIAN: This feels more natural.
JEN: That is not how it works.
DAMIAN: I think I am pulling.
JEN: You are pushing your knees.
DAMIAN: Is that a good thing?
JEN: Not for your joints, Damian.
DAMIAN: Why are there ten pins?
JEN: Those adjust the weight.
DAMIAN: I want the light one.
JEN: Move the pin to one.
DAMIAN: It will not move, Jen.
JEN: Use some actual force, Damian.
DAMIAN: My fingers are too small.
JEN: Just pull it harder now.
DAMIAN: There! It moved slightly.
JEN: Now sit correctly, please.
DAMIAN: This seat is very cold.
JEN: It is leather, Damian.
DAMIAN: I feel like a robot.
JEN: You look like one too.
DAMIAN: Is this for the arms?
JEN: No, it is for legs.
DAMIAN: Why are handles here then?
JEN: For stability, you dummy.
DAMIAN: I am very unstable today.
JEN: That is why we train.
DAMIAN: Training feels like torture.
JEN: Torture makes you strong.
DAMIAN: I prefer being weak.
JEN: Then stop complaining now.
DAMIAN: I just need a map.
JEN: This is not a maze.
DAMIAN: It feels like one, Jen.
JEN: Just push the lever down.
DAMIAN: Which lever? The red one?
JEN: No, the silver one.
DAMIAN: Now it is making noise.
JEN: That means it is working.
DAMIAN: It sounds like a scream.
JEN: That is just the belt.
DAMIAN: I think I am stuck.
JEN: How are you stuck, Damian?
DAMIAN: My shirt is caught here.
JEN: Stop moving around then.
DAMIAN: I cannot reach the fabric.
JEN: Let me help you out.
DAMIAN: Do not pull too hard.
JEN: You are a gym disaster.
DAMIAN: I am an athlete now.
JEN: Athletes do not get stuck.
DAMIAN: I am a unique athlete.
JEN: Unique is a kind word.
DAMIAN: Thank you for the support.
JEN: I am just judging you.
DAMIAN: Is my form looking okay?
JEN: You look like a pretzel.
DAMIAN: Pretzels are salty and good.
JEN: You are just salty, Damian.
DAMIAN: I am sweating a lot.
JEN: That is the whole point.
DAMIAN: I hate the whole point.
JEN: Then go home and nap.
DAMIAN: I cannot give up now.
JEN: Why not? Give up.
DAMIAN: I paid for the membership.
JEN: Money does not mean skill.
DAMIAN: It means I have access.
JEN: Access to what, exactly?
DAMIAN: Access to this scary machine.
JEN: Just do ten repetitions, Damian.
DAMIAN: Ten is way too many.
JEN: Do five then, coward.
DAMIAN: I am not a coward!
JEN: Then start pushing now.
DAMIAN: One... that was hard.
JEN: Only nine more to go.
DAMIAN: Can I stop at two?
JEN: No, keep going, Damian.
DAMIAN: Two... I feel the burn.
JEN: The burn is good, right?
DAMIAN: The burn is scary, Jen.
DAMIAN: Three... I am almost there.
JEN: You are barely starting, Damian.
DAMIAN: Four... my legs are shaking.
JEN: That means it is working.
DAMIAN: Five! I am done now.
JEN: Only five? That is sad.
DAMIAN: Five is a great number.
JEN: It is a low number.
DAMIAN: Low numbers are easier, Jen.
JEN: You have no drive, Damian.
DAMIAN: My drive is to snacks.
JEN: Snacks come after the gym.
DAMIAN: I want them right now.
JEN: Finish your set first, then.
DAMIAN: I already finished my set.
JEN: One rep is not a set.
DAMIAN: It was a very heavy one.
JEN: You used the lowest weight.
DAMIAN: Lowest weight feels heavy today.
JEN: Go take a shower, Damian.
DAMIAN: Fine, but I am winning.
JEN: Winning at what, exactly?
DAMIAN: Winning at surviving this machine.
JEN: You are unbelievable, Damian.
DAMIAN: I know, I am amazing.