The Library Silence

MAX: Is this place always quiet?
LIBRARIAN: Yes, it is a library.
MAX: I feel like I am breathing.
LIBRARIAN: Breathing is allowed, sir.
MAX: My breath sounds too loud.
LIBRARIAN: Please just sit down.
MAX: Where can I find history?
LIBRARIAN: Section B, third aisle.
MAX: Thanks! You are a lifesaver!
LIBRARIAN: Shh! Lower your voice.
MAX: Sorry! I forgot the rule.
LIBRARIAN: Just whisper from now on.
MAX: Got it! Whispering is easy!
LIBRARIAN: Stop shouting while you whisper.
MAX: My whisper is just powerful.
LIBRARIAN: It is annoying, sir.
MAX: I just need one book.
LIBRARIAN: Which book are you seeking?
MAX: Something about old hats.
LIBRARIAN: We have a fashion section.
MAX: Is that near the history?
LIBRARIAN: Yes, just around the corner.
MAX: I am going there now!
LIBRARIAN: Please walk softly, sir.
MAX: My shoes are very squeaky.
LIBRARIAN: Then take them off.
MAX: That is against the law.
LIBRARIAN: Not in this library, maybe.
MAX: My socks have holes, though.
LIBRARIAN: I do not care, sir.
MAX: Fine! Socks stay on then!
LIBRARIAN: Shh! People are reading here.
MAX: They look very bored, actually.
LIBRARIAN: Reading is a quiet joy.
MAX: I prefer loud joys, like drums.
LIBRARIAN: Do not mention drums here.
MAX: Why? Are drums banned?
LIBRARIAN: Everything loud is banned here.
MAX: That is very extreme, lady.
LIBRARIAN: I am a professional librarian.
MAX: Professionals should be nicer.
LIBRARIAN: Silence is the only nice thing.
MAX: I found the hat book!
LIBRARIAN: Please do not scream.
MAX: Sorry! I got too excited.
LIBRARIAN: Excitement is for outside, sir.
MAX: I will be a statue.
LIBRARIAN: Now that would be helpful.
MAX: Can I eat a snack?
LIBRARIAN: No food in the library.
MAX: What about a small cracker?
LIBRARIAN: Crackers are too crunchy, sir.
MAX: I can eat them slowly.
LIBRARIAN: Slow crunching is still crunching.
MAX: You are very strict today.
LIBRARIAN: I am always this strict.
MAX: Who designed these rules?
LIBRARIAN: The board of silence, sir.
MAX: That sounds like a cult.
LIBRARIAN: It is just a committee.
MAX: Committees are basically the same.
LIBRARIAN: Please stop talking to me.
MAX: I am just being friendly!
LIBRARIAN: Your friendliness is very noisy.
MAX: I will use sign language.
LIBRARIAN: You do not know it.
MAX: I can make it up!
LIBRARIAN: That is not how it works.
MAX: Watch me describe a hat!
LIBRARIAN: Please just read your book.
MAX: This book has no pictures.
LIBRARIAN: It is a text analysis.
MAX: Text is so boring, right?
LIBRARIAN: I love the text, sir.
MAX: You are a strange person.
LIBRARIAN: Most people say that here.
MAX: I will find a friend.
LIBRARIAN: There are no friends here.
MAX: What? That is so sad.
LIBRARIAN: We have books instead, sir.
MAX: Books do not tell jokes.
LIBRARIAN: Some of them do, actually.
MAX: Show me the funny books!
LIBRARIAN: Section J, the joke aisle.
MAX: I am running there now!
LIBRARIAN: Do not run in here!
MAX: I am power-walking instead!
LIBRARIAN: Stop moving so fast, sir.
MAX: I have a need for speed.
LIBRARIAN: Speed is for the highway.
MAX: This library is my highway.
LIBRARIAN: Then you are a speeder.
MAX: Give me a ticket then!
LIBRARIAN: I will just ban you.
MAX: You cannot ban a customer!
LIBRARIAN: We are not a store, sir.
MAX: Then where am I exactly?
LIBRARIAN: In a place of silence.
MAX: I think I hate it here.
LIBRARIAN: The feeling is mutual, sir.
MAX: I am leaving with my book.
LIBRARIAN: Finally, some peace at last.
MAX: See you tomorrow, nice lady!
LIBRARIAN: Please do not come back.