The Remote Control Heist

MOM: Give it here.
DAD: I had it first.
KID: I want cartoons!
MOM: We are watching news.
DAD: News is boring, honey.
KID: Cartoons are better!
MOM: No one is watching cartoons.
DAD: Maybe just ten minutes?
KID: Yes! Ten minutes!
MOM: Absolutely not.
DAD: Be reasonable, Martha.
MOM: I am being reasonable.
KID: You're being a meanie!
MOM: Do not call me that.
DAD: She is being a bit mean.
MOM: Give me the remote, George.
DAD: Come and get it!
KID: I got it!
MOM: Drop it right now.
KID: Never!
DAD: Good job, son!
MOM: Do not encourage him.
KID: I'm the king of TV!
MOM: You are the king of timeouts.
KID: Nooo!
DAD: Let him have a win.
MOM: He wins at everything.
DAD: That's because he's talented.
MOM: He's five, George.
DAD: A prodigy in remote theft.
KID: I want the blue dog show.
MOM: The dog is too loud.
DAD: I like the blue dog.
MOM: You are both children.
DAD: We are a team.
KID: Team Blue Dog!
MOM: This is an uprising.
DAD: It's a revolution.
MOM: A very small revolution.
KID: I have the power!
MOM: The power of batteries?
KID: Yes! Batteries are magic!
MOM: Put it on the news.
DAD: No, sports first.
KID: Blue dog now!
MOM: Enough!
DAD: She's using the voice.
KID: Oh no, the voice!
MOM: Remote. Now.
KID: Fine...
DAD: Traitor!
KID: She looked scary.
MOM: I am not scary.
DAD: You are terrifying when angry.
MOM: I am merely firm.
DAD: Firm is just scary lite.
MOM: Put the news on.
DAD: Can we see weather?
MOM: Weather is part of news.
KID: Is there a dog forecast?
MOM: No, there is not.
DAD: That's a missed opportunity.
MOM: Focus, George.
DAD: I am focused on sports.
MOM: The game ended an hour ago.
DAD: I like the highlights.
KID: Highlights are just short shows.
MOM: See? He's smarter than you.
DAD: He learned from me.
KID: I learned from the dog.
MOM: The fictional blue dog?
KID: He has a lot of wisdom.
DAD: Wisdom in blue fur.
MOM: This is why we can't have nice things.
DAD: We have a nice sofa.
MOM: It's covered in crumbs.
KID: I like crumbs.
MOM: Of course you do.
DAD: Let's just watch a movie.
MOM: What movie?
DAD: Something with explosions.
KID: And dogs!
MOM: No.
DAD: Just one dog explosion?
MOM: That sounds horrific.
KID: I want a dog movie.
MOM: Fine, one dog movie.
DAD: Victory for the team!
KID: Yay!
MOM: Don't make me change my mind.
DAD: We are silent now.
KID: Shhh!
MOM: Finally. Peace.
DAD: I still want a spork.
MOM: What?
DAD: Nothing.
MOM: Why would you want a spork?
DAD: They're efficient tools.
MOM: Not in this house.
KID: Can I have a spork?
MOM: NO!
DAD: See? The dream dies.
KID: I'll make my own.
MOM: Please don't use glue.
KID: Too late!
DAD: That's my boy.
MOM: I give up.