The Bad Roommate's Organization

ALARIC: Why is the toaster in the bathroom, Soren?
SOREN: It matches the white tiles perfectly, Alaric.
ALARIC: I do not want a matching bathroom; I want toast!
SOREN: You can toast your bread while you brush teeth.
ALARIC: That is a terrible use of my morning time.
SOREN: It is called multi-tasking efficiency, Alaric.
ALARIC: Efficiency does not mean putting appliances in sinks.
SOREN: The sink provides a safe zone for crumbs, truly.
ALARIC: Crumbs in the sink are just a plumbing nightmare.
SOREN: Plumbing is just the veins of the house, Alaric.
ALARIC: Where are my socks? I cannot find them anywhere.
SOREN: I organized everything by color spectrum, Alaric.
ALARIC: Color spectrum? What does that even mean?
SOREN: All red things are in the laundry basket now.
ALARIC: My socks are blue! Why would they be red?
SOREN: I dyed them red to fit the new system, Alaric.
ALARIC: You dyed my socks without asking me, Soren!
SOREN: I was enhancing your wardrobe's chromatic flow.
ALARIC: My flow is now a mess of unexpected colors!
SOREN: Unexpectedness is the spice of a living space.
ALARIC: Spice belongs in food, not in my underwear.
SOREN: Underwear is the foundation of our daily identity.
ALARIC: My identity does not include red socks and toast.
SOREN: Now you have a bold, daring identity, Alaric.
ALARIC: Where did you put the remote for the TV?
SOREN: It is in the "Black and Rectangular" section.
ALARIC: Where is that section located, Soren?
SOREN: Inside the oven, because it's dark and boxy.
ALARIC: You put the electronics in the oven, you idiot!
SOREN: The oven was empty; it was a waste of space.
ALARIC: It is for cooking! Not for storing remotes!
SOREN: Cooking is just another form of heat-management.
ALARIC: My remote does not need heat-management, Gary!
SOREN: I call him Gary? No, I am Soren, sorry.
ALARIC: You are so confused that you forgot your name.
SOREN: Names are just labels for the soul's essence.
ALARIC: Your essence is a disaster for this apartment.
SOREN: Disaster is just a very loud form of order.
ALARIC: Loud order is still a mess, you weirdo.
SOREN: Look at how beautiful the yellow shelf looks!
ALARIC: There are bananas and my phone on that shelf.
SOREN: They are both yellow; they belong together, Alaric.
ALARIC: My phone is silver, not yellow, you moron.
SOREN: I put a yellow sticker on it for consistency.
ALARIC: You put a sticky label on my screen, Soren!
SOREN: Now it matches the bananas perfectly, right?
ALARIC: I cannot see my notifications through the sticker!
SOREN: Notifications are just distractions from the now.
ALARIC: The "now" is me wanting to throw you out!
SOREN: That would be a very sudden change of flow.
ALARIC: A change that is long overdue, honestly.
SOREN: I have also organized the spice rack by smell.
ALARIC: Smell is subjective; how did you do that?
SOREN: I grouped "earthy" with "slightly metallic".
ALARIC: That makes no sense! Cumin and salt are different.
SOREN: In my mind, they both evoke a desert landscape.
ALARIC: I just want to cook pasta, not visit desert.
SOREN: Pasta is a small, wheat-based architectural feat.
ALARIC: Please just tell me where the pots are, Soren.
SOREN: They are in the "Circular and Shiny" category.
ALARIC: Where is that? In the shower? Under bed?
SOREN: I put them in the hallway for easy access.
ALARIC: Why would I need a pot in the hallway, Soren?
SOREN: In case you want to boil water while walking.
ALARIC: That is a great way to burn my feet, idiot.
SOREN: Burned feet are just heat-treated extremities, Alaric.
ALARIC: You have an answer for everything, don't you?
SOREN: I am a student of the universe's hidden patterns.
ALARIC: The only pattern here is "Soren ruins things".
SOREN: Ruining is just creating space for something new.
ALARIC: Something new like a house that makes sense?
SOREN: Sense is boring; chaos is where we grow, Alaric.
ALARIC: I am growing a very large migraine right now.
SOREN: Migraines are just brain-storms of high energy.
ALARIC: My energy is focused on finding my keys.
SOREN: Your keys are in the "Silver and Jagged" bin.
ALARIC: Where is that bin? Please tell me it's not oven.
SOREN: It is in the fridge, to keep them cool.
ALARIC: Why would I want cold keys, you lunatic?
SOREN: Cold metal is more refreshing for the hand.
ALARIC: I do not want a refreshment; I want exit!
SOREN: The exit is just a doorway to another room.
ALARIC: This room is too much for me, Soren.
SOREN: You are just resisting the new organizational era.
ALARIC: I am resisting a man who dyes my socks red.
SOREN: Red is the color of passion and power, Alaric.
ALARIC: My only passion is to live in silence now.
SOREN: Silence is a white color; it goes with everything.
ALARIC: Stop talking about colors! Just stop it!
SOREN: I will organize your anger by intensity levels.
ALARIC: My anger is currently at "Maximum Volcanic".
SOREN: That belongs in the red section, then, Alaric.
ALARIC: Get out of my sight before I erupt, Soren.
SOREN: Eruptions are just a natural part of geology.
ALARIC: You are not a volcano; you are a roommate!
SOREN: I am both, depending on the day's mood.
ALARIC: Today you are a nuisance and a color-blind fool.
SOREN: I can see colors perfectly; they just move.
ALARIC: Colors do not move! They stay on objects!
SOREN: Not in my world; everything is a dance, Alaric.
ALARIC: Your dance is making me want to scream.
SOREN: Screaming is a great way to clear the pipes.
ALARIC: I am going to sleep in a hotel tonight.
SOREN: Make sure you organize your luggage by hue!
ALARIC: I am leaving without any luggage, just go.
SOREN: Such a minimalist approach! I love it, Alaric!