The Camping Chaos

ISADORA: I told you it would rain.
QUENTIN: The weather app said zero percent!
ISADORA: Your app is for the city, Quentin.
QUENTIN: Nature should be predictable.
ISADORA: Nature is a chaos engine.
QUENTIN: My tent is leaking.
ISADORA: That's because you put it up upside down.
QUENTIN: Upside down? How is that possible?
ISADORA: The poles are on the outside.
QUENTIN: I thought it was a modern design.
ISADORA: It's a disaster design.
QUENTIN: I can't find my sleeping bag.
ISADORA: You're sitting on it.
QUENTIN: Oh. So I am.
ISADORA: Why did we do this?
QUENTIN: To connect with our inner selves.
ISADORA: My inner self wants a hotel.
QUENTIN: Hotels are for tourists.
ISADORA: I am a tourist in the woods!
QUENTIN: Just embrace the wild, Isadora.
ISADORA: The wild is currently in my boot.
QUENTIN: Is it a bug?
ISADORA: It's a very large beetle.
QUENTIN: Don't panic, just shake it out.
ISADORA: I can't shake it! It's gripping!
QUENTIN: Maybe it likes you.
ISADORA: Get it out of there!
QUENTIN: Hold still... got it!
ISADORA: Thank you. Now we can go home.
QUENTIN: We can't, the car is stuck in mud.
ISADORA: You are joking.
QUENTIN: I wish I was.
ISADORA: How did you get us stuck?
QUENTIN: I took a shortcut through the swamp.
ISADORA: A swamp! In a sedan!
QUENTIN: It looked like a path.
ISADORA: A path of liquid brown death.
QUENTIN: It was very scenic.
ISADORA: Scenic ruins don't help with traction.
QUENTIN: We can push it out together.
ISADORA: I am not pushing a car in mud.
QUENTIN: Where is your team spirit?
ISADORA: My spirit left when the tent collapsed.
QUENTIN: Just five minutes of pushing.
ISADORA: No. I'm staying here with the beetle.
QUENTIN: The beetle is gone, Isadora.
ISADORA: At least he had a plan.
QUENTIN: His plan was to live in your shoe.
ISADORA: It was a better plan than yours.
QUENTIN: My plan was for us to bond.
ISADORA: I am bonded to this mud.
QUENTIN: Look on the bright side.
ISADORA: There is no bright side in rain.
QUENTIN: The stars are beautiful!
ISADORA: We can't see the stars through clouds.
QUENTIN: They are there, even if we can't see them.
ISADORA: That's a very poetic way of saying we're blind.
QUENTIN: You're such a killjoy.
ISADORA: I'm a survivalist.
QUENTIN: Survivalists don't cry over tents.
ISADORA: I'm not crying, it's just rain on my face.
QUENTIN: See? It's all perspective.
ISADORA: My perspective is that we are doomed.
QUENTIN: Doomed is such a strong word.
ISADORA: We are out of snacks, Quentin.
QUENTIN: I have one granola bar left.
ISADORA: One? For two people?
QUENTIN: We can split it.
ISADORA: This is the end.
QUENTIN: It's not the end, it's an adventure!
ISADORA: Adventures usually involve a map.
QUENTIN: I have a map!
ISADORA: That's a napkin from a diner.
QUENTIN: I drew the landmarks on it.
ISADORA: A squiggle is not a landmark.
QUENTIN: That squiggle is the Great Oak!
ISADORA: There are ten thousand oaks here.
QUENTIN: This one is special.
ISADORA: Everything is special to you.
QUENTIN: Because life is a gift.
ISADORA: This trip is a gift I want to return.
QUENTIN: No returns on nature trips.
ISADORA: I'm calling for help.
QUENTIN: There's no signal!
ISADORA: Of course there's no signal.
QUENTIN: See? We are truly disconnected.
ISADORA: Disconnected from sanity.
QUENTIN: Just listen to the wind.
ISADORA: The wind sounds like a wolf.
QUENTIN: Wolves aren't in this area.
ISADORA: Then why is it howling?
QUENTIN: Maybe it's just a very loud breeze.
ISADORA: I'm terrified, Quentin.
QUENTIN: Just hold my hand.
ISADORA: Now you're being sweet.
QUENTIN: I can't let my survival partner panic.
ISADORA: You are the reason I'm panicking!
QUENTIN: Details, details.
ISADORA: Let's just push the car.
QUENTIN: Really?
ISADORA: Yes, before the wolves arrive.
QUENTIN: There are no wolves!
ISADORA: Just push, Quentin!
QUENTIN: Fine, but I get the granola bar.
ISADORA: You're a monster.
QUENTIN: A hungry monster.
ISADORA: Push!