The Fridge Mystery

ZEPHYRA: Do you smell that?
ORION: Smell what?
ZEPHYRA: The... thing. In the fridge.
ORION: I don't smell anything.
ZEPHYRA: Your nose is broken, Orion.
ORION: My nose works perfectly!
ZEPHYRA: Then you smell the rotting cabbage.
ORION: That's not cabbage.
ZEPHYRA: Then what is it?
ORION: Maybe it's a fine cheese.
ZEPHYRA: Fine cheese doesn't smell like a gym sock.
ORION: Some of the best cheeses do!
ZEPHYRA: Not when they are in a plastic tub.
ORION: Maybe it's my leftover stew.
ZEPHYRA: Your stew was from last month.
ORION: Stew ages like wine.
ZEPHYRA: Stew does not age, it evolves.
ORION: Evolves into what?
ZEPHYRA: A new form of life.
ORION: Like a science project?
ZEPHYRA: Exactly. We have a pet in here.
ORION: I don't remember buying a pet.
ZEPHYRA: It's a biological hazard, Orion.
ORION: You're being too dramatic.
ZEPHYRA: Dramatic? Look at the mold!
ORION: That's just... organic seasoning.
ZEPHYRA: Organic seasoning is not fuzzy.
ORION: Some seasonings are fluffy.
ZEPHYRA: Fluffy means it's eating the fridge.
ORION: It's probably just humidity.
ZEPHYRA: Humidity doesn't smell like death.
ORION: Death is a strong word.
ZEPHYRA: I can see the ghost of the food.
ORION: You have a vivid imagination.
ZEPHYRA: My nose has a vivid reality.
ORION: Let me check the back.
ZEPHYRA: Don't touch it without gloves!
ORION: I don't need gloves for leftovers.
ZEPHYRA: Those aren't leftovers anymore.
ORION: They are 'vintage ingredients'.
ZEPHYRA: Vintage means old, not rotten.
ORION: It's a culinary journey.
ZEPHYRA: A journey to the emergency room.
ORION: Stop worrying so much.
ZEPHYRA: I am worrying about our health!
ORION: We have immune systems.
ZEPHYRA: Mine is not designed for this.
ORION: Look, I found the source.
ZEPHYRA: Don't open it!
ORION: It's just a small jar.
ZEPHYRA: Small jars can hold great evil.
ORION: It looks like... jam?
ZEPHYRA: Jam doesn't smell like that.
ORION: Maybe it's garlic jam.
ZEPHYRA: Why would anyone make garlic jam?
ORION: To be bold!
ZEPHYRA: Boldness is for explorers, not jars.
ORION: I think this is the one.
ZEPHYRA: Open it slowly.
ORION: Okay... here we go...
ZEPHYRA: Wait! Get a mask first!
ORION: It's just jam, Zephyra.
ZEPHYRA: Now open it!
ORION: ...OH GOD!
ZEPHYRA: I told you!
ORION: IT'S NOT JAM!
ZEPHYRA: What is it?
ORION: I think it's... old fish!
ZEPHYRA: FISH?! In a jam jar?
ORION: Maybe I was experimenting.
ZEPHYRA: Experimenting with what?
ORION: Fish-flavored preserves.
ZEPHYRA: You are a monster, Orion.
ORION: I was trying to be creative.
ZEPHYRA: Creativity should not smell like this.
ORION: It's an acquired taste.
ZEPHYRA: No one wants to acquire this.
ORION: Maybe in another country?
ZEPHYRA: In no country is this acceptable.
ORION: Throw it away, then.
ZEPHYRA: You throw it away!
ORION: I can't, I'm too dizzy.
ZEPHYRA: That's the fumes attacking you.
ORION: It's a very powerful smell.
ZEPHYRA: It's an olfactory assault.
ORION: My nose is finally working.
ZEPHYRA: Now that it's traumatized?
ORION: Yes, I can smell everything now.
ZEPHYRA: Including the trash?
ORION: Especially the trash.
ZEPHYRA: Take the trash out now.
ORION: But I just found the source!
ZEPHYRA: Out! Now!
ORION: Fine... but we're still keeping the jar.
ZEPHYRA: Why on earth would we keep the jar?
ORION: It's a good jar.
ZEPHYRA: You are unbelievable.
ORION: I am a man of utility.
ZEPHYRA: Utility doesn't include fish-stink.
ORION: I'll wash it with soap.
ZEPHYRA: Use a whole bottle of bleach.
ORION: Bleach is too harsh.
ZEPHYRA: This smell is harsher!
ORION: Fair point.
ZEPHYRA: Now go, before the fridge dies.
ORION: The fridge can't die, it's a machine.
ZEPHYRA: Everything has a breaking point.
ORION: Like my patience with your nagging?
ZEPHYRA: Out!
ORION: Going!
ZEPHYRA: And don't come back without air freshener!
ORION: I'll get the lemon scent.
ZEPHYRA: Get the strongest one they have!
ORION: Yes, ma'am!
ZEPHYRA: Finally... peace.
ORION: Wait, did you smell something else?
ZEPHYRA: Don't you dare.
ORION: Maybe it's the cheese...
ZEPHYRA: GET OUT!