The Laundry War

MIA: Where is it?
THERON: Where is what?
MIA: My blue sock.
THERON: There are many socks.
MIA: Not this specific blue.
THERON: It's just a shade.
MIA: It's cobalt, Theron. Cobalt!
THERON: Maybe it shrank.
MIA: Socks don't shrink away.
THERON: This one might have.
MIA: Into another dimension?
THERON: The dryer is a portal.
MIA: Stop being weird.
THERON: I am being logical.
MIA: Logic says you lost it.
THERON: I didn't touch your socks.
MIA: You did the laundry.
THERON: I pressed the button.
MIA: That counts as touching.
THERON: The machine is the culprit.
MIA: Machines don't steal clothes.
THERON: This one has a taste.
MIA: A taste for cobalt?
THERON: It likes primary colors.
MIA: My sock is not primary.
THERON: It's close enough.
MIA: I need that pair.
THERON: Wear a black one.
MIA: They don't match!
THERON: Nobody looks at feet.
MIA: I look at my feet.
THERON: Why do you do that?
MIA: To ensure I'm dressed.
THERON: You are clearly dressed.
MIA: Except for one foot.
THERON: It's a fashion statement.
MIA: A statement of failure.
THERON: It's called eclectic style.
MIA: It's called being messy.
THERON: I am not messy.
MIA: You leave crumbs everywhere.
THERON: Those are flavor markers.
MIA: Markers for what?
THERON: Where I have been.
MIA: Like a slug.
THERON: Slugs are misunderstood.
MIA: Just find my sock.
THERON: Check the lint trap.
MIA: It's not in there.
THERON: Check your shoes.
MIA: I already did.
THERON: Maybe the dog ate it.
MIA: We don't have a dog.
THERON: Exactly. Very suspicious.
MIA: Who is stealing my socks?
THERON: The Sock Ghost.
MIA: There is no ghost.
THERON: That's what he wants.
MIA: You are avoiding the truth.
THERON: What truth?
MIA: That you dropped it.
THERON: I did not drop it.
MIA: Then where is it?
THERON: In the void.
MIA: The laundry void.
THERON: It's a known phenomenon.
MIA: Search the internet for it.
THERON: I don't want to.
MIA: Why not?
THERON: It might be scary.
MIA: A sock is not scary.
THERON: A missing one is.
MIA: You are impossible.
THERON: I am a delight.
MIA: You are a nuisance.
THERON: A delightful nuisance.
MIA: Give me the other one.
THERON: Which one?
MIA: The matching cobalt sock!
THERON: Oh, this one?
MIA: You had it?
THERON: I was holding it.
MIA: Why?
THERON: To keep it safe.
MIA: Safe from what?
THERON: From the void.
MIA: Give it back now.
THERON: Say please.
MIA: Please give it back.
THERON: With a smile.
MIA: I am not smiling.
THERON: No sock for you.
MIA: Theron!
THERON: Fine, take your bluey.
MIA: Don't call it bluey.
THERON: It sounds friendly.
MIA: Socks aren't friends.
THERON: This one is my pal.
MIA: Get away from my clothes.
THERON: You love me really.
MIA: I love the socks more.
THERON: That hurts my feelings.
MIA: Good. Now move.
THERON: I'm still missing a red one.
MIA: I didn't touch your reds.
THERON: See? The void is real!
MIA: I hate this house.
THERON: You love the laundry room.
MIA: No I don't.
THERON: Yes you do.
MIA: Shut up, Theron.
THERON: Love you too, Mia.